Red bull
by davestridersjunk
Summary: Draco has a very interesting encounter with an energy drink. Rated for swearing.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

**Warning: **...This is pretty crazy. And random. But hopefully, you find it funny.

* * *

"Granger, what the fuck have you been drinking? Your breath stinks." Draco said, pulling away from his current girlfriend.

"Gee, thanks." Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. Draco's eyes narrowed.

"No, seriously. It fucking stinks."

"Yes, I heard you the first time, Draco! I was just a little tired this morning, so I took an energy drink." Hermione said, raking her fingernails through her hair. Draco frowned again, this time in curiosity.

"What the fucks an energy drink?" He asked, screwing up his eyes. Hermione sighed angrily.

"Do you have to swear like a sailor?" She asked, clearly stressed out. Draco chuckled and kissed her knuckles, picking up her books for her.

"Sorry. I'll try and stop." He said. Taking her hand, they both walked out of the library and started to make their way to his dorm until she stopped, heading for a different staircase.

He pouted. "Where're you going?" He asked her. She turned to stare at him with a 'duh' expression.

"I'm going to my dorm, what does it look like?" She asked. Draco frowned at her.

"Y'know… When you said you drank an energy drink, I assume it gives you some form of energy, so why do you look so tired?" He asked confusedly. Hermione sighed once again.

"They do give you energy, but it's just a short burst, and some of them leave you feeling tired after a while." She explained, holding out her arms for her books. Draco refused to give them to her.

"Well, that defeats the purpose, doesn't it?" He said, mostly to himself, looking up at the ceiling. He noticed Hermione's tired demeanour once again and felt slightly sorry for her. With exams coming up, she was as stressed as ever, and he wished that he could take her away from studying just for a day, so that she could have a rest. Draco shook that thought from his head, silently noting to never let anyone know how much of a romantic he had become.

"Come on," he said, holding his hand out to her again. She looked at him with a puzzled expression before deciding not to argue and took his head, letting him lead her to his dorm.

"We need to spend at least some nights at mine, you know…" She said, letting him practically pull her up the stairs. Draco shook his head, smiling.

"No we don't, plus you like sleeping at mine better." He said. Hermione yawned before admitting,

"Well, your bed is comfier."

"You know it," He winked, finally coming to his dormitory. He muttered the password and then dragged Hermione in, desperate to get her into bed.

"I'll be right back; I'm just going to brush my teeth." He said, kissing her cheek before making his way to the bathroom. He briefly saw Hermione in the mirror, walking up the stairs to his room, not even bothering with taking her books up with her. He smiled sympathetically whilst taking out his toothbrush and spreading toothpaste on it, poor girl.

He'd never admitted to anyone except from Hermione, but he had an obsession with brushing his teeth. He didn't understand how nobody could enjoy it; most people seen it as a chore they that had to do daily, but Draco just couldn't get over the fresh feeling inside his mouth after a good brushing. He brushed his teeth over 4 times a day now, having dropped down from sometimes even doing it up to seven times a day. Hermione found it ridiculous, but he found it glorious.

After rinsing his toothbrush, he put it back in his bathroom cabinet and made his way upstairs; preparing to lavish his girlfriend in kisses and cuddles. Well, he was, until he noticed that she'd fell asleep on top of his satin covers. He made his way around the bed, coming to stare at her from the side.

Jesus, she must've been tired. She hadn't even bothered to undress, or to get underneath the covers! Sighing, he undressed himself down to his boxers and then flipped her over, undressing her. Once he had successfully removed all of her clothing, bar her underwear, he slipped her favourite purple nighty over her head and somehow managed to get her underneath the covers.

Turning her over to cuddle her, he turned out the lights with his wand and fell asleep.

* * *

He turned over in the morning, moaning slightly at the sun that was in his eyes. Feeling for Hermione, he opened his eyes when he couldn't feel her and noticed a small note on top of his pillows.

_Draco,_

_I have Ancient Runes and you looked too peaceful to wake up, thanks for tucking me in last night. See you in potions._

_Hermione_

Sighing, Draco felt slightly offended that she hadn't woken him and then a slow grin formed on his face. It was the morning. He got to brush his teeth, and not get weird looks from his dorm mates.

After brushing his teeth (and having not only his teeth, but his day brightened due to the act) he went to the fridge in search of some orange juice. It was then that he discovered a long, but thin silver can with blue edges on it. He frowned, picking it up. Two little bulls fought each other in front of what looked to be a sunset and he turned it around to look at the ingredients.

"Caffeine…" He muttered to himself. With a shrug, he opened the can and gulped some of it down, figuring that it was basically coffee since it had 'caffeine' in it.

Without realising, he finished the can and sighed afterwards. It didn't taste that bad… and it gave him the most… energetic feeling ever. Licking his lips, he took another can, devouring that also.

Grimacing, he suddenly didn't feel so good and decided to sit down, putting his head between his legs.

"Ah… I think I'm gonna be sick." He said, huffing as if that would make it better. He swallowed thickly and waited five minutes.

Overwhelmed with the urge to move, he stood up and walked to the door, finding it unbelievable that he'd managed to complete the act in about three seconds, when it usually took him ten. Breathing heavily, his eyes darted around the room to see if anyone else was present, just in case he was having a heart attack. Calming down slightly and coming to the conclusion that he was not indeed having a heart attack, he left the room in order to meet Hermione before potions.

"HI HERMIONE!" He grinned. He watched as she looked around embarrassedly. Had he noticed how loud he was? And why was he smiling so… creepily?

"Hello. You look… refreshed." She said, finding it difficult to come up with one precise word which matched his current attitude. The creepy grin still hadn't left his face.

"Excited for potions?" He shouted in her face, his grin getting wider. She looked at him with wide eyes.

"Oh… no, your breath smells like… Did you drink those energy drinks, Draco?" Hermione asked. Draco frowned, still smiling.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He panted out. "I feel like I'm on the moon."

"What did you have to drink this morning?" She asked, attempting to get his attention. When she finally did, he looked happier than a little girl who'd just been told she was a princess.

"Caffeine," He said simply.

"Was it coffee? Please say it was coffee…"

"No, it was called blue balls or something." He said excitedly. Then his expression turned worried. "WILL I GET BLUE BALLS FROM DRINKING THAT?"

"No! Calm down, you've just had an energy drink… and your first ever one, by the looks of it. How many did you have, Draco?"

"Only two!"

"Only two? Draco, that's not good for you!"

"Shut up!" He whined. "You hypocrite! You had one yesterday!"

Sighing as if everyone else was crazy, he turned to a small first year walking past and randomly muttered to them,

"My girlfriends a hypocrite, y'know." He said. The small girl frowned at him as if he was trying something on with her and walked away, turning to her friend to bitch about him.

"Oh, dear lord." Hermione said, pinching between her eyebrows. Draco grinned at her.

"I feel fucking great." He admitted. "I think I could fly. Could I fly? I think I could."

"Draco, you're just hyper."

"I'm not 'just hyper', I'm fucking epic." He said, looking around himself in amazement.

And then here came Snape… oh God.

"Inside… children." He said, pushing open the door. Everyone followed him inside and Hermione and Draco took their seats at the back.

"Why do we sit at the back? We should sit at the front, much more action and learning!" Draco said, giving Hermione a thumbs up. Hermione pursed her lips to help herself from laughing and sat down beside Draco, getting out her books.

"It was your idea to sit here at the beginning of the year, you know." She said. Draco licked his lips and shifted in his seat constantly until he finally found himself comfortable in a position that probably only Hermione could find herself to love. He sat on his knees, only they were outspread, as if he was a puppy waiting on a biscuit.

"Just try and be quiet," She reasoned with him, flipping to page 394.

Once everyone had taken their seats, Snape stood at the front, a dull expression on his face.

"Now, today we're going to be working on Veritaserum." He said slowly, in a drawl.

"THAT'S THE TRUTH POTION!" Draco shouted aloud. Hermione's cheeks burned as everyone turned around to stare at them both. Draco's grin never faltered and he shook her elbow as if he'd discovered something amazing.

"That's the truth potion, Hermione!" He said excitedly. Snape raised an eyebrow at him before continuing.

"We were supposed to finish it… around Christmas time, but unfortunately… did not."

"Fa la la la la, la la la la!" Draco sang. Hermione snickered.

Again, Snape ignored him, sending only a raised eyebrow in confusion his way.

"This is so exciting, does potions not excite you so much, Hermione?" Draco asked her, almost bouncing in his seat.

"This is fucking brilliant." He whispered in amazement, tears in his eyes. "Snape's such a good teacher, don't you think?"

"I really hope this is over soon," Hermione grinned into her hand.

"I'm so glad I'm related to him!" Draco exclaimed, getting up to gather their ingredients once Snape had finished talking. Hermione watched in amusement as he got into an argument over Phoenix feathers with someone.

"Some crackhead tried to steal my fucking feather, can you believe that? Dumb whore." He swore. Hermione refrained from laughing and put the ingredients in the order in which they'd be used. Draco shifted beside her, never staying still.

"Where are the beetle's that we've to crush?" He asked excitedly. Hermione frowned.

"I've already done that, Draco." Hermione said. Draco's eyes went wide and tears rimmed the bottom of his eyes.

"What?" He whispered. "I WANTED TO DO THAT PART!" He slammed a small jar on their desk and sat down in a bad mood.

Hermione shrugged and got on with her work, figuring that the energy drink had worn off by now.

But nope, she was wrong. Two minutes later, he was up, looking over her shoulder constantly to see what she was up to. When she had finally finished, he wrapped his arms around her and placed an affectionate kiss on her neck.

"Well done, sweetie. You did it! And without all my help…" He said proudly. Hermione burned with embarrassment and pushed him off, claiming that they were in class and that it was unacceptable.

Pouting, Draco sat down again. After two minutes, he giggled and slapped her behind.

"I love your arse, it's so peachy." He said loudly. Sitting down so that he couldn't touch it, Hermione decided that they would both just go back to his dorm afterwards, so that he could calm down.

"I think we should get a puppy." He said seriously. "It will set us up for when we have ten babies, don't you agree?"

"Ten? That's a bit excessive, Draco…"

"No, it isn't! Ten isn't even enough! I want fifteen but I knew you would be this difficult." He said, planting his chin on his fist and leaning on the table.

"Don't you think that man is just beautiful?" Draco suddenly asked. Hermione could help it no longer and let out a full blown laugh at him. Draco grinned beside her.

"He is, isn't he? So smart." He muttered in amazement. Snape briefly heard their conversation and sent Draco a weird look. Taking a few steps back from their table, he didn't even bother to check their potion.

"I think I'll start exercising. I want a six pack."

"Why?"

"Because, I want to be buff." He said. Hermione breathed a laugh.

"Buff?" She asked. Draco looked at her innocently.

"Yes. Muscly." He said. After two full minutes of him fidgeting, shifting and licking his lips, Draco bounced up from his seat as if he'd been sitting on a spring.

"I CAN'T SIT DOWN!" He exploded. "I JUST WANT TO EAT MARSHMALLOWS. AHAHAHAHAH."

"Sit DOWN, Mr. Malfoy." Snape boomed, finally fed up of his nonsense. Hermione straightened beside him, attempting to hold in his laughter.

"I can't! I don't know what's happening to me... but I feel like I could just do anything in the world. I just feel so happy... I LOVE YOU SNAPE."

From that moment on, there was a suspicious space in the fridge where there was just... nothing there. Draco thought it was some sort of glamour charm, but decided against it. Besides, what would Hermione have to hide from _him?_

* * *

Very random, huh? I can't explain where this came from. Draco is extremely hyper and out of character. I apologise, but I just think it would be funny.

Any mistakes?

Hopefully you at least cracked a smile at this.

-FallenForTheDraco


End file.
